I Choose Happy

Ever have those weeks when absolutely nothing is going right, you pretty much feel like a failure at everything you do, and/or all that sounds appealing is crawling back into bed to sleep? Yeah, that was me last week suffering from all these feelings and then some.

lace top with olive green utility jacket

There wasn’t one monumental event that caused me to feel like a piece of crap, but rather there were several things that started small and continued to spiral until I thought I was going to scream bloody murder.

First off, Ryan was away at his family’s lake house for the entire weekend. Okay, I promise I’m not that possessive wife where we have to be together ALL THE TIME and we can never do anything without the other. I swear that’s not the case. But, when your husband only has every other weekend off work, you do cherish that time just a tad bit more. So naturally, I already was thinking ahead to the fact that he was gone that weekend and then would be working the next. Guess we wouldn’t be seeing each other much or having any date nights or time together in general.

So, I already was in a funk from being alone more than usual, and then I had the genius idea to put out a reader survey for this here space. Whether it shows or not, I have been working really hard behind the scenes to make this space the best possible blog it can be, both for myself and for those of you who choose to come here sometimes, and I genuinely wanted your feedback to make sure that I produce content that you actually want to see and read. While most of the answers were positive, encouraging and helpful, there were a handful of comments that hurt my feelings. Like, to the point that I was in tears and really was questioning whether to even come back and post. I know that I opened myself up to this possibility and that there always will be haters, but for the first time since I’ve started blogging, I did question whether or not I fit in anywhere in this online world and if this community really is as supportive as we all claim to be. (The answer is YES, of course – there unfortunately are those people in all groups, I guess).

Based on those negative comments, the rest of the week kind of got out of control. I was being pretty mean to myself whenever I looked in the mirror – nothing in my closet felt “good enough” or it made me look bad, my face looked large and round (one of my biggest insecurities), my skin was going haywire with breakouts, I decided I hated my new haircut, blah blah blah. And, on top of it, the house was/is a complete disaster since we’ve started packing up the kitchen and getting everything ready for demo day, so there’s clutter everywhere, paint cans and supplies lying around, etc. Cue the pity party, people.

lace top with olive green utiliy vestlace top with olive green utility vest

Everything finally came to a head by Friday, and I had a good, long cry. Does anybody else just instantly feel better after a hardcore sob fest? It felt like I was emptying myself of all the sadness and negativity that I had been harboring the entire week. Not to mention that I was trying to rid myself of this horrible version of myself – I couldn’t stand the way that I was behaving, and that’s not the type of person that I want to be or ever want to be around (occasionally or ever, if I can avoid it!).

From there, I made a mental pact with myself. You know what it was? I choose happy. I finally poured my heart out to Ryan, which took a huge weight off my shoulders and reassured me that I have his love and support always. I turned off the computer and limited my time on my phone and social media – if it wasn’t making me happy, why continue to pour over it day and night? And, while maybe not the most fashion-forward outfits, I made sure to only wear things that didn’t require much thought and that I knew I looked and felt good in.

And, the house situation? Well, I’ve just had to resign myself to the fact that that’s how it’s going to be and look until after the renovation. You win some, you lose some. I have to keep the end result in mind.

lace top with olive green utility jacket
lace top (similar) | utility vest (similar) | jeans | flats | purse (similar) | sunnies | watch c/o | ear jackets via Rocksbox (get a month free with code msinthemidwestxoxo)

What I’m getting at with this ramble fest is that what we see of other people’s lives and what we choose to share on social media most likely isn’t an accurate representation of what’s actually going on. Life definitely isn’t rainbows and unicorns, and it probably never will be wonderful and perfect 100% of the time – at least, that’s how I feel about my own life. There’s always going to be times of clutter and chaos, unwanted alone time, days when you’re just not feeling too cute, and of course, trolls and bullies that want nothing more than to bring you down.

Regardless of these life obstacles and constant ups and downs, I’m making the decision to choose happiness every single day – maybe not all day, everyday, but I will choose happy at some point every day of the week.

If you’re going through a rough time or just find yourself having a bad day and/or week, I hope that you take a minute to step back and choose happy, too.

 

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  • What the hell?!? Seriously people can be so catty and mean behind a keyboard. I am so sorry you got hurtful comments. I love your space and you are one of my daily reads! I look forward to your tutorials, fashion posts and some inspo with interior decorating for my one day house. I’m glad you are choosing happy and know that you are loved and supported! xoxoxoxo

    • Thank YOU so much, friend – you know what a source of motivation and support you are to me. Yes, people are ridiculous these days, I guess – we all get a little bit more brave to be nasty when we don’t have to say it to someone’s face. Oh well – I’m glad I was able to get this off my chest today to finally move forward from it!

  • First off, love your outfit. OK.. moving on! I am so sorry that you got some mean comments and that you had a tough week. People who do that need to get a life and they’re also just miserable human beings. I had a breakdown last week because I got overwhelmed by my new job and I questioned my decision. Thank goodness for husbands who listen and offer unconditional support. 🙂 Keep on being the fab person that you are and don’t let those idiots ruin your day!! 🙂

    • Lol, thank you! That’s one of my favorite outfits right now. 🙂 And, thank you for the support – I’m finally past all that negativity because I know I have so many other people supporting me. Hope everything is okay with you and that you’re settling into your new job!

  • Yes. yes. YES. I 100% understand what you mean in regard to your husband. The entire month of April, mine was gone every single weekend with field trips for school, and coaching every night. It wore on me, it wore on us. It made us snappy. It took some real, heart to heart confessions to finally express what we needed to. Being alone that often always puts me in a funk- you think living with someone, you’d see them enough. That’s never the case. And a good cry fest- those always seem to make the heart so much lighter. It can just be necessary, you need to release those tears. Truth: I’ve watched certain movies to just trigger one before, when I know I’ve needed it.
    And I hate that people are mean. For what it’s worth, here I am using you and your blog as inspiration! The look of it, it truly looks professional! And you seem so approachable and friendly throughout it!
    I love that you are choosing happy. That isn’t easy to do, it’s motivating others!

    • It’s so nice that someone else understands the husband thing! It definitely wears on us at times, but like you said, we really try to have heart to hearts to make sure we are communicating and know what the other one needs. Oh, I totally will watch certain movies just so I can cry – you’re not alone in that one! And, you are so sweet – it’s humbling to know that my blog is a source of inspiration to someone else! For what it’s worth, I almost went with the design that’s on your blog, and I absolutely love it. 🙂

  • WTF?! People are such jerks. I swear I lose my faith in humanity a little more every day. Anyone who commented negatively on your survey is probably just jealous of how gorgeous, sweet and real you are, so don’t let it get to you. It’s pathetic how people hide behind the anonymity of the internet and use it to bash others. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. No one forces them to read your blog (or anyone else’s for that matter!). And don’t ever forget that you have a great blog support system of people who love you and your blog and to the haters; bye Felicia! But I am totally proud of you for choosing to be happy! You look gorgeous doing it 🙂 <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes

    • First of all, I literally busted out laughing when I saw your Bye Felicia comment. It was the highlight of my day. 🙂 Second, thank YOU for those sweet words. That means the world to me. Three, I don’t understand people either. I know I opened myself up to it, but c’mon, really? Plus wow, good for you – it takes a lot of courage to hide behind your computer and leave me a nasty comment. And, like you said – if you don’t like my blog, don’t come back and read it! Seems like a no brainer. Thanks for your continued support, friend!

  • Debra Stachelski

    First of all, we’ve all had weeks like that, and yes, a good cry really does help sometimes! As far as your blog, for every hater out there I know there are many more that enjoy what you offer here. I know I’m prejudiced, but in my eyes you always come across as very warm, genuine and honest. The down side of social media is that it has made it very easy for the nasty people of the world to be nasty behind closed doors and without anyone else’s knowledge. Used to be if people had a problem they would keep it to themselves or tell it to your face and move on. Just keep in mind people are more likely to say something negative than positive these days, I think it’s the general world we live in. I’m glad you’re choosing happy!

    • I know, you are very right about everything that you said and that you continue to remind me of sometimes. Thank you for always being so supportive and seeing the best in me!

  • Ann Thelen

    You are an amazing, smart, beautiful and talented woman! Don’t ever forget it!

  • Rebecca Trainer

    People can be so hurtful sometimes. I’m not sure I will ever understand why. It can really break a person’s heart. I think you did the best thing by avoiding social media for a while; it is not actually “real life” anyway. I am glad you are feeling better. Please try to avoid the hurtful comments or at the very least not dwell on them, although I know this is much easier said than done. These folks are certainly in the minority. Most of us truly enjoy and appreciate you very much and never even have these types of thoughts, much less put them in writing!

    • Thank you so much! You’re right – I know I briefly touched on this in the post, but the majority of you and the blogging community in general is so ridiculously positive and supportive that it totally outweighs some of those jerks out there. We put ourselves in a pretty vulnerable state doing what we do, and I guess I was just surprised that people would frown upon that or try to bring someone down for just being who they are. But, such is life, right? And, yes – sometimes a social media break is very necessary.

  • Jenn

    I’m so sorry that people said negative/mean things to you! I can’t imagine what there is to say that’s mean–you’re sweet and adorable! Some people have nothing better to do with their pathetic lives than to try and tear down someone they see having it all. I’m sorry the week was rough but I’m glad that you were able to get a good cry out (yes, it totally helps) and choose happy!!

    • I appreciate that, thank you! Hey, like I said – I know I totally opened the door for that to happen, but you would think people would read “constructive criticism” and know what that means. Not just leave ugly, really mean comments that have nothing to do with my blog or content. Whatever, karma is a bitch is what I keep telling myself! And, choose happy, of course. 🙂

  • This is my first time visiting your blog and my first thought was, I love how clean and modern everything looks and feels. You said the most important thing though, “I choose happy”. Choose what makes you happy, not what makes everyone else happy. I think your smile is beautiful and infectious, and you definitely have to keep sharing it with the world. Social media can be like cancer at times. We all need mental breaks and a good cry to every make ourselves feel better. No shame in that. By the way- I love this look. Hope your week gets better girly!

    kaitlyn-danielle.blogspot.com

    • So, so sweet – thank you for those words! I’m so glad that you stopped by today – I don’t usually get this personal, but I guess it’s a good thing to keep it real every now and then. And, that’s one of my favorite outfits right now, I can’t get enough of that vest!

  • Haters gonna hate! But really, being a blogger and putting our selves out there is such a huge emotional risk! I’ve thought about doing one of those reader polls and am always scared there is going to be someone out there that just says “your blog sucks!” lol! But, that’s the risk we take, right? I absolutely love reading your blog daily and you have such a great aesthetic which is hard to master! Keep up the good work! We are always our worst critics!

    • It definitely is a risk, and I knew what I was getting into with that reader survey! You just think when you ask for constructive criticism, that’s what you’re going to get so you can put it to good use. I really wasn’t expecting just the flat out mean comments that were about my appearance, personality, etc. But hey, it goes with the territory and I’m moving forward. I appreciate the fact that you visit my space, thank you for those kind words!

      • That is so sad people have nothing better to do than put other people down! You really got those kind of negative comments?! What is wrong with people?!

  • I’m so sorry about the negativity of some people – I think some people feel the need to be mean to make themselves feel good and I totally do not understand that! Yes, sometimes a good cry makes a world of differences! We’ve all had those days, weeks even, and life is rough but always choose happy! That’s something I’m constantly having to remind myself – like today! Thanks for sharing this, I needed it!

    • I definitely agree with you, and sitting behind a keyboard makes it way easier to be nasty than saying something to someone’s face! I’m so glad that I was able to bring you that little happiness reminder today. 🙂

  • Emily Dunham

    I am so sorry to hear that you received negative comments – that really stinks!!! I feel like I have definitely been in your place multiple times and it really does help sometimes to just let it all out in a big cry. I am glad you are feeling better and choosing happy!

    • My big meltdown did do me a world of good, I have to admit lol. Crying never hurt anyone, and it’s entirely necessary sometimes!

  • I’ve totally been in that same place where a bunch of little things creep up until they spiral into one big thing…definitely no fun (and I’m especially sorry that you had to deal with those negative comments). Thanks for the reminder that happiness is a choice – there are definitely days when I need to remind myself of that!

    • I’m so glad that’s what you got out of this because that was my main message – we all have the ability to choose to be happy, even when things are rough!

  • Biana Perez

    I’m so sorry to hear that people were negative with their comments in your reader survey and even worse that you were already having a tough week. I’m really happy to hear that you are choosing to see the good in yourself and moving forward!

    • Thanks, girl! I’m pretty tough, but it wasn’t easy to see what some people had to say (not constructive criticism in any sense) when I already was feeling down. But, we always have to move forward, right?

  • A

    I’m so sorry that you had a tough week and also that people were nasty in response to your survey. I don’t always comment on blogs, but I did respond to your survey and raved! I love your blog, I look forward to reading it every day. I’m glad you’re feeling better. You definitely have a space in the blogging world!

    • You don’t know how much that means to me! Thank you for taking the time to respond to my survey in a positive manner and for commenting today. People like you make it all worth it!

  • I love your attitude towards this, though I’m so sorry it was a rough week and even more sorry about the ridiculous comments on your survey. I don’t even know what anyone could come up with negative to say about you or your blog- you always have such amazing and quality content. Like a lot of other people have said, I think sometimes people feel the need to be less than kind because that’s how they feel about themselves. Thanks for always being so honest!

    • Thank you, friend – I truly appreciate your comments, they mean so much to me! I know I opened myself up to be vulnerable to negative comments, but I didn’t think people would be as harsh as they would. I have a thick skin, but it’s never fun hearing that people think you dress like crap, lol. Oh well, time to be happy! 🙂

  • Sorry about the rough week, we all have them every now and again. Good attitude! I read the Happiness Project a few years ago and it really changed my outlook on life. I wake up every day and choose to be happy! I had a cry fest this weekend and it felt so good. Thanks for telling it lie it is, not enough people do that!

    • Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words! I probably should read that book, it sounds like it would be helpful to me during times like this!

      • I highly recommend it, my whole family has read it now!

  • The Adored Life

    Confession – one of the reasons that I haven’t ever done a reader survey is that I am scared of getting really mean responses. I know that it’s not even me but it’s like how can someone say that about me??? The internet is such a great and such a mean place so I say BRAVO to you for doing what you do. You know I’m here for you! That and a good, long cry IS like therapy!

    The Adored Life

    • You are so right! I did know what I was getting myself into with that survey, but typical me – I always think the best of people and that they will understand what I’m saying by “constructive criticism.” Ish happens, and I’m glad that I’m moving forward and choosing happy in all aspects of my life. You’re the best!

  • Oh girl, I’m sorry you had a rough week. It always seems that when it rains, it pours. And I hate that people left you rude comments on your reader survey!! I love your blog and you should be so proud of what you’ve done/are doing here. Glad you’re choosing happy! 🙂

    • Haha, right?! When one thing goes wrong, usually everything else follows in its path. I so appreciate your kind words – thanks for sticking with me! 🙂

  • I’m so sorry that you had a couple of jerks write nasty comments to you on your reader survey! That totally sucks! Even though it sucks to cry, sometimes that’s exactly what you need! Things were really rough at work for a while for me and one day after a good, long cry things just felt better. It sucked to get that emotional, but sometimes your body just need it!
    And 100% yes to what you said about social media and the internet! Everybody just puts the warm and fuzzies and sparkles on the internet and their lives look perfect. It’s hard to remember that, but sometimes we just need to take a step back and realize that they’re just posting they’re glamorous parts of their lives and not their whole life.
    I’m so glad that you’re choosing to be happy because I love coming to read your blog everyday!

    • Thanks for this sweet comment, friend! Blogging and social media can be deceptive a lot of the time for the exact reasons that you said – I guess we just have to remember to keep it real more times than not!

  • Your positive outlook is an inspiration to all of us, keep your head up! Choosing to be happy is a great reminder when we are having a tough day or week! Xo, Stephanie

    • Thank you so much! Yes, I’m finding myself simply telling myself to choose happy when things get difficult lately, and it really does help.

  • Well I took your survey and didn’t leave any comments because I love your blog the way it is! People are such haters–it’s so easy for people to sit behind their screens and type nasty comments on their keyboard. UGH. Don’t let them steal your joy, because they’re probably miserable people and if you do, then you’re letting them win. Keep up the awesome job:)

    • Thank you for your kind words, Tif! That means a lot coming from you. And, I know – people are SO brave when they don’t have to come face to face with someone.

  • thefashionfolks

    Who cares about haters when there is so much love, happiness and kindness in the world, that always will outshine the hating? Keep on choosing happiness! Xx

    http://www.thefashionfolks.com

  • Christina Sotherden

    Girlfriend, I read this in the car on Friday and couldn’t comment from my phone so I almost messaged you, ha! I would seriously be the same way over the comments – I am SO sensitive just about anything can hurt my feelings! So glad that you got that cry out (feels so good sometimes!), got it all off your chest and switched into the happy mindset! I have a lot of those moments around here and the best feeling is just taking a breather and switching from sad to happy – even though it’s hard!

    • Thank you for thinking of me! 🙂 It definitely wasn’t easy receiving some of those comments, but it was even worse from the fact that I already was having a crap week. I’m glad that it’s been all uphill since then, though. That good cry really did help me – it’s such a relief and weight off my shoulders to get it all out there!

  • So sorry about the negative comments. I think sometimes people forget there is a person behind the blog. You look beautiful and I’m glad you chose happy!

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

  • Hey lady! I thought I commented here last week, but I guess not and I was thinking about you today, so here I am. I completely understand the husband working situation. I am the same way during busy season with Michael! And I cannot believe you got such mean comments on your survey. I seriously think you put a lot of work and thought into your blog and it really shows – from your pictures to your blog design. Keep it up and don’t listen to those rude people!

    • You are so sweet, thank you for thinking of me! I know you also struggle with the husband work situation – I can’t imagine dealing with that and also having a baby right now! I admire you so much!

  • Oh Karly! I am so sorry you had to deal with negative comments. You know why people do that though, right? They are in such a bad place themselves that they choose to tear someone else down (that they are usually jealous of) to feel better. It’s so sad. Sad for them…

    We ALL have days, weeks, months of dealing with these feelings. Life is chaotic and messy and we fill it with so much. Plus we have social media staring us in the face constantly trying to share the most perfect pictures. But you are right, we choose what we share. That’s not every day life. So often that little square is so pretty and everything around it is a giant mess! You are not alone sister 🙂 I’m squeezing you tight right now and sending you love! You are beautiful and you rock – don’t ever let anyone take your happiness away from you.

    • You already know how I feel about you and these sweet words of encouragement. Sending you lots of love, sister!

  • Ooooh gurlie I’m so sorry you had such a rough week, sending lots and lots of *hugs* your way. It always seems that everything comes crashing in all at once, but I’m glad you had a good cry and were able to vent to Ryan about everything. I’m also so sorry you received some negative comments on your survey. I can’t imagine what people might have said, because I’ve always been so in awe and impressed of your beautiful space here. Keep doing what you’re doing <3
    Green Fashionista

    • Thanks, girlfriend! I know, when the chips are down it just seems like they keep falling. Luckily, things have been all uphill since then so I’m thankful that I’ve been able to work through it. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words, it means the world!

  • I wish I could just give you the biggest hug right now. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been there and I’m the first to admit I’m hardest on myself. I love your mindset of choosing happy. Sometimes a good cry and a fresh outlook are all we need to turn things around. Keep up the hard work on the blog. It really shows and sometimes it’s just nice to be told that your work doesn’t go unnoticed. Giving you a big virtual fist pound from Atlanta girlfriend!

    • You are the sweetest, thank you so much friend! I really appreciate the kind words. And, you’re right – a good cry and fresh outlook is good for the soul!

  • Abby Castro

    So gorgeous! I love that sunnies and the military vest – simple but really gorgeous.

    Abby | Life in the Fash Lane

  • I’ve been a bit out of the blogging loop so I missed your survey but I’m honestly so shocked that there could be anything negative to say – I LOVE your style and your content!! Sending a giant e-hug because we all have down days and I am all for letting it all out. Tyler teases me sometimes because basically any extreme emotion = tears for me, but I always feel better once I can get in a good cry. Props to you girl for keeping your chin up and staying true to yourself! I’m of the opinion that blogging is all about sharing your own unique voice/style/journey and people who don’t like it have plenty of other options to read! I know how much work you’ve been putting into transitioning your site ON TOP of still creating great content and I just want to say it’s amazing all that you’ve been balancing! You go girl sounds so cheesy but it totally encapsulates what I want to say haha. Even though I don’t have as much time as I used to keep up with everyone I ALWAYS come back to your blog when I have a spare minute because what you share is always so relatable! <3

    • You are the sweetest! Thank you for these kind and encouraging words – I’m so glad we’ve been able to stay connected after these past few years blogging together!

  • Totally feel you, friend! I went through this a month or so ago… I think it was in the air, honestly! I’m one to always remind myself that it’s all about outlook and staying positive! Such a good post! x

    • I think you’re right that something was in the air, but hopefully it has passed on now! Positive outlook always is the way to go. Thanks for the support, friend!

  • oh my gosh. girl i am so sorry i am so behind, i cannot believe people were rude and negative to you! are you freaking kidding me? you are amazing, so sweet and friendly, not to mention a freaking fabulous blogger. so screw them. you choose happy, and ignore the bullies and trolls. like you said they will always be there to bring you down no matter what. no one person can please everyone, and most adults just let whatever annoys them or what they don’t like pass them by, but then there are cruel people who have to point it out and make others feel bad about it. easier said than done, but ignore them. i had a super nasty comment on a blog post the other day (that was 2 years old…) and i just deleted it and moved on. it was super hard at first because i get really upset and mad and i wanted to have it out with this person (that i of course couldn’t, which was probably for the best) and eventually i calmed down. why are people such a holes. rage. if you need to talk, i’m here! just remember you are amazing, k?

    • I absolutely love in your comment where you just wrote “rage” because that pretty much sums it up, lol. Thank YOU so much for your support, encouragement and kind words – I know that we have each other’s backs! There always are going to be trolls and mean people out there, so I’m really working on just ignoring the bad and accepting the good.

  • This is a fantastic post. Know that you are not alone with those harsh rambling negative feelings. What you described I find myself trying to shake off minimum once a day….but you’re right, we have to choose to be happy.
    Life isn’t perfect nor is any single person…and it’s okay to let that irritate us, as long as you remember it doesn’t define us.
    This post is so relatable, I will definitely be returning to your blog for more 🙂
    -Linds

    • You are so right! None of us are perfect, and we shouldn’t pretend to be. And, I know dealing with daily negative feelings can be frustrating, but we really do just need to choose happiness. Thanks so much for your kind words, I hope you continue to read!